


Winds Will Change

by Cottonstones



Series: In-Universe NSP [1]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: In-Universe Ninja Sex Party, M/M, Minor Violence, Muteness, Origin Story, Possibly Unrequited Love, Pre-Relationship, Sign Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:38:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5843632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cottonstones/pseuds/Cottonstones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is a ninja, skilled, at the top of his game, but he feels empty and alone in his violent world. Disenchanted with his life, Dan can feel something coming, a storm inside of him that will surely change everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Winds Will Change

**Author's Note:**

> This is Danny Sexbang's In-Universe origin story! I love the idea of Danny Sexbang being an amazingly skilled ninja and wanted to play with that idea so here we go! 
> 
> Title is from Dig A Hole by William Beckett 
> 
> Note: Italics are for when Brian is using sign language to speak to Dan.

The night is whisper-quiet around Dan, darkness shrouding him as he stays in position, locked in a low crouch for close to thirty minutes now. He takes slow, careful, barely-there breaths, his body prone, ready to spring up at any moment. The shadows do well to conceal him, practically invisible along the flat rooftop of the low building. He's hyper-aware of the blade nestled in its sheath, slung over his back, the small, sharp weapons tucked along his sides.

Suddenly, there's the pad of footsteps around him, echoing against the dirt-packed road that surrounds the building. It's just a hint of noise, but he hears it, the sound pulling him from the zen-like state that he'd fallen into, his default when he's concentrating. He turns his head barely an inch and spots a long shadow moving his way. He remains stock-still, one hand planted between his bent knees on the roof, his muscles no longer aching or throbbing with pain, the sensation trained out of him.

The shadow edges closer to Dan, and he waits, feeling like a jungle cat ready to strike. His heartbeat is slow as he counts in his head. He can see inside his mind the path that his target is taking purely by sound. His eyes only open when he hears the footsteps grow closer, the shadow stretching and disappearing into the darkness cast by the hulking forms of the surrounding buildings.

With no hesitation, Dan rises, an imposing figure atop the roof. He pulls his blade free and, in one swift, graceful motion, leaps off of the edge of the roof and flies straight at his target, his blade gleaming silver in the modest light of the moon that's only now beginning to crest the dark sky. His blade is pointed downward as he jumps, and it sinks easily into the back of the man who he'd been waiting for. Dan always expects the body to be more resilient, less like passing a warm knife through butter, and the ease of it still takes him by surprise. The blade emerges from the man’s chest, the slick sound of blood falling to the earth the only noise around them as he pierces the man's lungs. The man makes no noise in his final moments, ensuring Dan another quiet, successful kill.

He tugs the blade free, the silver tarnished with deep, dark red. He flicks his hand, sending excess droplets flying before he sheathes it. From the inside of his robe, he pulls out a scroll, short and simple, bearing the name of the man and the original order that he'd received to end the man's life. It was a job completed, and Dan had no need for reminders. To him, this man, once alive, now dead, was nothing more than another task that he'd completed, another name to add to a seemingly ever-growing list.

He hooks his hand on the edge of the roof and pulls himself back up, slinking into the shadows, letting the darkness have him as he heads back home.

\--

 _Home_ is a compound comprised of small squat houses - though they can only be called houses in the sense that they provide a place to sleep, little else. Two bedrooms and a single bathroom are all that occupy the space, the section where a living room would be only open for training purposes. He lives here with the other ninjas of his clan, a few dozen men and women and their elders, those who've taught them since their youth. He came to the compound at thirteen and has been there ever since.

At twenty-nine, the art of the ninja is all that he's ever known, killing his only objective.

The compound is quiet and still when he arrives, a few candles burning in the windows of houses whose occupants are training or otherwise awake. It's late, and Dan retreats to the small section of land that he calls his own. His house has two bedrooms like everyone else's, but he lives alone. He didn't choose to, but he doesn't mind, not really. It gives him time to meditate and train without having to worry about anyone invading his space.

As careful as he'd been killing tonight, he still has blood on his hands, flecks of red staining the tanned skin. Dan slowly hangs his weapons on the small hooks designated for them in the main room before he heads to the bathroom to clean up. He washes his hands in the sink, the water turning a milky pink color. With a damp hand, Dan tugs down his face mask, frowning at himself as he catches his reflection. His eyes look tired and hard. He hates seeing them these days.

Once his hands are clean, he changes into his sleepwear - a silky, kimono-style robe - and moves through the house to the darkened bedroom, lying down on the thin, padded mat on the floor. As he settles, he slips into a meditative state that leaves him tranquil and at peace. Lately, he's finding it harder and harder to find that peace. The first rule of meditation is that, if you can't find your peace, then you have something clouding your mind, plaguing your spirit. Dan frowns at the blackened ceiling above him. Not for the first time, he feels spinning clouds of negativity forming in his chest.

Something's wrong and he knows it.

\--

Dan must have fallen asleep at some point because, the next thing that he knows, he's awoken by a soft knock to his door. He jerks up, though he knows that, if it's an enemy, then they certainly wouldn't be knocking on the door.

"Who is it?" Dan asks, his voice low and gruff from sleep.

He's met with silence, but the door cracks open slowly and a masked face peers inside, piercing blue eyes finding him.

"Oh! Brian," he says, sighing, running a hand through his hair. "It's you."

Brian starts signing at him. He's only just woken up and Brian's hands are ungodly fast, but he still catches what Brian says.

_Sorry. Did I wake you?_

Dan shakes his head. "You're fine. Did you need something?"

Brian inches further into the room, standing near the edge of his bed.

_You're usually up by now._

"I had that job last night, remember?" he says. "It took me a while to fall asleep."

_Everyone's already talking about your kill._

He sighs again. He'd expected as much. His target was the son of a rival clan, his father a well-known dickweed. As penance for his crimes, his son was made a target, Dan, his assassinator.

"He was only nineteen. Did you know that?" Dan asks. The thought had been there at the time, but he'd ignored it in favor of focusing on his duties. Now the thought won't leave him, the same as the image of his blade sliding through the young man's internal organs.

Brian's brow furrows.

_Are you alright?_

Dan lies back on the thin mat, his eyes falling closed for a moment before he forces them back open. That's not fair to Brian. If he can't see him, then he can't speak to him.

Brian moves around the edge of his bed and squats low next to his head.

_Dan?_

"I'm..." he starts. He can feel the thick clouds of doubt and discontent mixing inside of him. He's a ninja. That's all that he's ever known and all that he's ever been - and he's _good_ at it, almost too good. His kill count outmatches most of the other ninjas in the clan. He used to be content after a job well done, filled with the sense that he was doing what he was meant to be doing, but a quiet storm has been rumbling inside of him lately, white-hot lightening clouding his mind, leaving him unable to find that sense of fulfillment, that peace.

Brian is watching him with a steady, piercing gaze. He remembers the first time that he saw Brian. The memory as clear to him as his kill from the night before. 

\--

Dan walks across the compound, intent on heading to his house to train. It was what he did most days, focusing his time on bettering his skills, improving, pouring all of himself into the effort. Usually, the main grounds are quiet, save for the bustle of people moving through their day, but, today, he notices more noise than usual. He stops and instantly sees what's captured the compound's attention. The new batch of recruits has been brought in. Every so often, Dan's clan - a larger, more well-off clan - brings in members of the surrounding clans, ones who wished to learn what Dan's clan could provide. The newbies didn't always make it, couldn't always handle the training, but, sometimes, they found people who could stick it out.

The recruits are standing shoulder-to-shoulder in a line, their backs straight, heads tipped up, all uniformed in the same black robes bearing their original clan's house symbol. The recruits stand here in the hopes that an elder or formal ninja would choose them as a student, teach them the ways of the clan. Dan watches with mild interest, his eyes scanning the would-be new clan members. The recruits don't interest him. He tries not to get involved or attached to people who might not be around in a few weeks' time. As Dan's gaze flits over the line of nearly-identical men, though, he freezes, catching sight of fierce blue eyes that are burning with determination.

Dan’s not sure what draws him to this man, this stranger. He can sense a power, an untapped well of skill within this stockily built man. The elder ninja leading the group meeting glances at Dan curiously and, when their eyes lock he nods, as if he already understands what Dan is feeling, as if he already knows Dan’s decision before even Dan really does.

"I want to take him on as a student," Dan says confidently. He's never taught anyone, never _wanted_ to teach. Dan is concerned only with his own strength. He doesn't think that he has the capacity to care about anyone else.

The elder nods again, unfazed by how unorthodox it is for an eighteen-year-old to take on a student, especially one older than him. Dan points at the man with the striking eyes, motioning for him to step forward.

"Come with me."

The man listens, falling in step with Dan with no hesitation.

"I'm Daniel," he says, "but you can call me Dan."

The man nods and in a voice that was light but gravely says, "My name is Brian."

\--

That had been eleven years ago, but he could remember it like it'd happened yesterday. Brian had taken to training exceptionally fast, was the student that Dan had known he would be. He listened closely, worked endlessly - they spent hours in Dan's house, in that front room, Brian practicing the same move over and over until he'd perfected it.

Brian is the person who he's the closest to in the clan, but he also takes his ninja training very seriously, as he should, as Dan once did. How can Dan express his fears to him? His worries? Especially when he isn't supposed to have any?

"I'm okay," he says. He notices how tired his voice sounds. "Thank you, Brian."

He can't do it. Dan can't put that kind of strain on his student, his friend. This unhappiness rolling through him is his own pain to bear, and he can do so on his own. He doesn't need to involve Brian.

Dan presses himself up and off of the mat as Brian straightens, his eyes still concerned as he nods at Dan's words.

"I'm going to change. I'll meet you for morning training."

Again, Brian nods, moving to exit the room and wait for Dan to join him for training.

Dan takes his time getting dressed, watching himself in the mirror as he slides the face mask in place, concealing all but his eyes. For the first time in his life, he doesn't know who's staring back at him.

\--

Training is mostly Dan going through the motions, the exercises and movements muscle memory at this point. He weaves under the punches and kicks that Brian serves him, though Brian is fast, skilled. Dan isn't being as careful as usual, though, his mind foggy, and Brian's fist is able to connect with his jaw, knocking him back. He comes back to his senses in time to control the fall, sliding across the floor and regaining his balance.

Brian stops moving, his chest heaving. Dan can see his brow furrow again and watches as Brian falls out of the loose fighting stance that he'd taken, his hands moving at Dan again.

_Alright, what's going on? I haven't landed a punch on you in months._

"I'm okay," Dan says as he straightens up, dusting off his clothes.

_You're distracted._

"No," Dan says with a grin, "you've just gotten stronger."

Brian rolls his eyes, but Dan thinks that he can see a smile under the black cloth of the mask.

_Now I know that something's going on. You never compliment me._

Dan huffs out a laugh, but his mind and body are both distracted. He's not sure that he can do any more training today. Brian looks like he could go a few more rounds, but as Dan relaxes his stance, he can feel Brian loosening up in return.

_Are you worried about the retaliation?_

Though Dan can't hear him, he can tell that his tone has sobered up, and he sighs. That's not quite it. Dan already knows that there will be retaliation. He knew from the moment that he leaped from the rooftop that the rival clan would come for blood, most likely his.

Dan shakes his head. "No, I'm not worried about them. We're more than prepared for the likes of them."

Brian's brow furrows, those strong eyes wavering with doubt - just a flicker, but enough for Dan to catch. He moves closer to Brian, resting his hand on his shoulder. " _You're_ stronger now."

Brian's eyes close for a moment, and Dan feels him take a deep breath, bringing himself back to the here and now, out of the past. He opens his eyes, his gaze firmer as he nods.

Dan pats his shoulder and nods toward the door. "Let's get some food."

\--

After breakfast, Dan pads around the compound. He moves quietly, head tipped up to the sky, watching the rolling blue and white spread out over the tops of the brown pikes of fence that guard the compound. Dan wishes that the dark mass inside of himself would dissipate, that he could feel like this day, warm and clear.

He hasn't been given a new assignment yet, so his mind wanders. He strolls listlessly and without direction across the grounds, past serene koi ponds and homes where he can hear the faint sound of training or meditation. People notice him on his walk, elders, and Dan stops and bows to them the way that he always has.

Besides Brian, there's no one who Dan can call a friend. Maybe his own _sensei_ , the teacher who had taken him under his wing when Dan was thirteen, awkward and gangly, all long limbs and fierce determination to live up to his heritage. Dan's _sensei_ had been killed a few years ago, a quiet and unremarkable end to an amazing fighter. That's how it always seems to happen - you could be skilled, you could be amazing, you could even be the best, but it only took one misstep, one second of your guard being down (much like Dan's is now), to end your life. Death doesn't care who you are, it takes you all the same.

Dan's used to death hanging around him like a shadow. He practically flirts with it, is able to look it right in its face, feel it in his hands, the strength and permanence of it. Dan doesn't fear death. He was trained not to.

Still, he doesn't want to die - especially not here, within the walls of the compound.

\--

It's late at night, after dinner, and people are heading back to their houses. The moon is a fat sphere dangling high above the compound as Dan mills around outside. He's intending on going back to his house to meditate.

He doesn't make it, though.

A sudden cracking noise, like a whip or lightening, sounds out and complete darkness, like someone had snatched all light from existence, blankets the grounds around him. Dan ducks low, trying to avoid the thick, black smoke threatening to strangle his lungs. With one hand, he pulls his mask up, pressing it to his mouth, but he's already breathed in some of the smoke, the strength of it making his eyes burn with tears that he refuses to let fall. With his other hand, he pulls free the blade at his back, hefting it up as he slinks back from the cloud of smoke.

Immediately, he hears the murmur of chaos and the sharp sound of metal slicing through air. The hairs on his arms stand up as he whirls around to find himself face-to-face with a masked man, a pattern of orange flowers spread across his black clothes.

He's not surprised to find the rival clan here. What surprises him is how bold they are to attack the entire compound.

The man in front of Dan speaks no words. Dan doesn't recognize him, what little of him that he can make out. He doesn't know if this man knows that Dan was the one who killed the clan master's son, but it doesn't matter as the man swings his blade at Dan, who backs up, dipping sideways to avoid the thicket of smoke. He clutches his own sword tightly and swings outward, the stranger in front of him dodging him. His eyes still sting and blur from the smoke.

"Your people have to resort to tricks to get a leg up?" he grits out.

The stranger in front of him glowers. "No worse than attacking a boy on his way home."

The words easily deal a more devastating blow to Dan than the rival clan member's blade ever could. He frowns, his gaze hardening, and takes a breath, moving quickly, circling the man before advancing suddenly, trying to strike at his side. The man jumps out of Dan's reach. He's quick, light on his feet as he thrusts his blade at Dan, but Dan's able to knock his blade away with a twist of his own.

"I do my tasks. It doesn't matter who they involve," Dan says, but, in his heart, he doesn't believe the words that he spits so easily at this rival ninja.

"A fucking lapdog for your clan."

This man is a good fighter, but Dan can see his flaws, the cracks in his demeanor. Emotion - the first thing that any good ninja must do away with. To feel is to leave yourself vulnerable. This man is letting his anger take hold, allowing red-hot rage and vengeance to render his moves sloppy. He wheels on Dan, stabbing at him, and Dan can see the opportunity. He dips around behind the man and it's easy, too easy, to drag his blade across the man's middle, slicing into him.

Death looms within Dan's reach, at the edge of his life, a visitor watching him but never speaking to him, never acknowledging him. The man who Dan had been fighting sputters a horrible, wet noise and falls, open and bleeding, onto the dusty earth that Dan had been casually walking on a few hours ago.

Dan goes to flick his blade clean of the sticky, wet blood when he feels a hot slice of pain along the outside of his arm. He gasps, turning in surprise and finding another man there, absolute fire behind his eyes as he lunges at Dan with a sword already decorated with Dan's blood. Dan hadn't been cut deep, but the wound stings, and he can already feel the warmth of blood spilling against the fabric of his top. The man had cut into Dan's dominant arm, but Dan still wields his sword, swinging outward at the man, bearing through the pain. He misses, the smoke still choking him, the storm inside of his chest raging harder than it ever has before. Distantly, Dan thinks of death, how, maybe, he'll meet it, after all.

The smoke above them is beginning to evaporate, just enough light sinking in that Dan can see the glint of a blade. He holds his own weapon out to block it but hears the soft slice of metal meeting flesh instead. His eyes flicker open and he sees the man that had just been bearing down on him on the ground, a deep gash across his middle.

Standing in front of Dan, breathing heavily, is Brian.

It's too dark for Dan to see if Brian's hands are moving, so he mutters, "I'm...I'm okay."

Slowly, the smoke disperses, allowing Dan to see the bodies littering the ground - the man who he'd killed, the one who Brian had killed, their own people who hadn't been as lucky as Dan and Brian...

"They've fled," an elder calls across the main grounds. "The cowards."

Dan tugs his mask down so that his face is uncovered, the stench of the smoke seeping into the fabric, too strong for Dan in this moment. Brian's watching him with serious eyes.

"I'm going home," Dan says.

 _You're hurt_ , Brian signs as he tucks his blade away.

Dan touches gingerly at the wound on his arm, deep-red droplets of blood splattered against the ground around Dan's feet. "It's just my arm."

He starts walking toward his house, feeling unlike himself, more lost than he ever has before. He's not surprised to find Brian following him - though, even after following him, he still stops at the doorway to Dan's house, waiting for permission.

Dan rolls his eyes. "Come on."

Dan goes to the bathroom, leaving a trail of blood behind him. He strips off his top, tossing that and his mask to the floor. Brian's behind him, watching intently, his eyes observing the cut on Dan's skin.

His hands fly too fast. Dan's vision swims for a moment.

"I think that I can clean it myself, Brian."

Brian rolls his eyes, getting a hand on Dan's good arm, motioning for him to sit on the edge of the bathtub. Dan allows Brian to move him, his eyes sliding closed as he listens to Brian clatter around inside of the bathroom drawer. Dan's skin prickles, and he braces himself for the cold touch of the antibiotic salve that they use to clean wounds. When he opens his eyes, Brian is wrapping fine gauze around Dan's upper arm, red already seeping through to stain the pristine white.

"You..." Dan starts, feeling a shiver in his chest, a distant rumble of thunder inside of him. "You probably saved my life back there, Bri."

Brian looks up from where he's wrapping the bandage, giving Dan a serious look. His hands are busy, so he waits until after he's got Dan's arm covered before he gives Dan a slow sign.

_Well, you saved mine. Remember?_

Dan nods, throat tight, a grimace spreading across his face. A lot of time has passed, but he remembers that moment like it'd happened yesterday.

\--

"Dan!" Brian shouts across the grounds. "The elders are calling for you! We're being attacked!"

Dan darts out of his house, having just wrapped up a training session. He pulls his sword free from the loose sheath at his back. Brian is a short distance from him, wide-eyed and obviously scared. This is the first time that he's been around for something like this. Brian's skilled and Dan knows it - he just needs Brian to keep his shit together for this surprise attack.

"You have your weapon, don't you?" Dan asks.

Brian nods. "Yes, I... I have it right here."

"Take it out, defend what you can, and attack when you need to," Dan says as he moves past Brian toward the center of the compound where the action is taking place. Dan doesn't worry for Brian; his student is a natural, if a little timid, and smart, smarter than Dan by far, his home clan favoring intelligence over physical force. Brian knows the logistics of fighting, knows the history of battle, of their clans, knows the right angle and force with which to lop off an arm, but he's never put that knowledge to use. Dan needs him to do so, just like they practiced.

Dan leaps into battle easily, slicing through the obviously weaker ninjas, knowing that the elders are capable of defending themselves longer than the newbie clan members, only three months into their training. Bodies already decorate the ground, some that Dan recognize and some that he doesn't.

Suddenly, a body is launching at him, huge and hulking. Dan has to jerk to the side to avoid being sliced in half. Blood speckles the man's face, and he growls at Dan as he lunges again. Dan ducks, swiping at his stocky legs. Since the man is bigger than Dan, he underestimates him. He grabs at Dan's wrist, trying to rip his arm clear off and making Dan drop his main weapon. What the beast of a man doesn't know, though, is that Dan keeps a small knife in the breast of his top. He digs his right hand into the space and withdraws the knife, plunging it into the stomach of the giant before he even realizes what's happened to him.

He drops to the ground, his grip slack around Dan's wrist. Dan smiles in triumph - he despises enemies underestimating him based on his slender frame, unaware of the power packed inside of him.

"Daniel!" a voice snaps, ice-cold in the chaos of battle.

Dan's head whips up, his eyes widening as he comes face-to-face with a rival clan member, his arms holding a struggling figure against his body, a figure that Dan recognizes instantly as Brian. The man's got an arm over Brian's chest keeping him in place and a knife pressed to his throat. Brian's eyes are locked on Dan.

A spike of fear stabs Dan, pain pulsing through him, but he can't let it show. To feel is to leave yourself vulnerable. Brian is Dan's student, Dan’s _friend_ but Dan can't show one sign of caring for him, lest he doom them both.

"We have a rule in my clan," the man continues. "One of yours for one of mine."

Without hesitation, he drags the knife across Brian's throat.

A lot of things happen very quickly in the next few moments. Brian screams, a sharp sound that turns into a wet, garbled mess. Dan's blood burns hot. Dan flings the knife in his hand toward the man holding Brian's now-bleeding form. The knife flies with precision and sinks with a slick thud directly into the man's forehead. The man goes limp, falling backward onto the ground, releasing Brian.

Without the support of the enemy, Brian falls, too, but Dan rushes forward just in time to catch him before he hits the ground.

"Brian?" Dan asks, breathless and, for the first time in a long time, uninhibitedly scared. He presses his hand to Brian's throat to try to lessen the bleeding. Brian's eyes flutter as they find Dan hovering above him. His shaking hand finds Dan's, pale fingers clinging to his wrist.

Dan can see Brian's mouth moving, but no words, no sounds except the terrible gurgling, come out. Dan lets his eyes close, not wanting Brian to see the panic in his gaze.

"You will not die here," Dan whispers. "I promise."

Brian nods, though his face is losing color, his grip on Dan's wrist going slack. Every part of Dan focuses on lifting Brian's solid form and rushing him to the medical building, hoping that someone there will be able to help him keep his promise.

When Brian wakes up, it's with bandages wrapped around his throat, Dan sitting next to him. Dan had only left momentarily after depositing Brian to make sure that the battle had truly ended. He wasn't the only sensei that had an injured - or worse - student, but, as soon as Dan knew that the compound was safe, he was back at Brian's side.

He felt responsible. Of course he did. He should have worked harder, should have prepared Brian better for the reality of battle. Fighting came easily, naturally, to Dan. Perhaps he'd overestimated Brian's skills. Perhaps he'd overestimated his own teachings.

The medical team had told Dan that, if not for him throwing the knife at the enemy ninja and stopping him from slicing completely through Brian's jugular artery, then Brian would be dead, lost like many others on that day. They had told Dan that Brian would live, but his vocal cords were destroyed in the process and he'd never be able to speak a word again.

When Brian finally comes around, Dan's there. He sees the way that Brian's eyes widen as he notices Dan sitting next to him, and he hears the mangled wheeze that comes out when Brian tries to speak to him. Brian places a weak hand on his throat and looks at Dan with pain in his eyes that Dan can only read as a question - "What happened to me?"

Despite what had happened, Brian's determined to keep training. Once the few weeks that he spends in recovery end, he's back in Dan's training room, working tirelessly - and becoming red-faced and frustrated when he can't communicate his thoughts. Guilt seeps through Dan. He knows that he needs something besides a pad and pencil for them to be able to speak.

That's when Dan thinks of signing. He can teach Brian sign language; they could use it together. Dan learns it on his own first, a few simple messages that he can teach Brian quickly. He broaches the idea after training, sliding Brian the book as he lies sweating on his back on Dan's floor.

Brian raises an eyebrow, thumbing through the book before picking up his pad of paper and jotting down, _You think that this will work?_

Dan uses his hands to sign _yes_. "I think that it will."

It's slow-going, and Dan and Brian spend many tireless nights going over signs again and again until they can both remember them, until they can talk again. The first time that Brian completes a sentence that Dan understands in signs, Dan thinks that he could cry at the fact that it's easier now, that the guilt has lessened and his friend is back in a more solid way. He doesn't care if no one else understands Brian. To hell with the world, with everyone else, because Dan understands him.

At that moment, that's all that either of them need.

\--

Dan sighs. The clouds inside of his chest have built into thick, tangible things, and the storm that's coming threatens to shake Dan apart. He can feel an answer coming in the space of his brain, but he doesn't like it, and he certainly doesn't want to admit it.

"You know what makes a good warrior?" he asks Brian, who cocks an eyebrow, his hands moving slowly.

_Trick question?_

Dan shakes his head. "No, this is something that you already know, something that I taught you...something that someone else taught me."

_You've taught me a lot of things, Dan._

"A good warrior closes himself off from feelings. In a way, you close yourself off from life because how can you experience life without feeling? We're almost like machines, empty inside, only our jobs on our minds."

Brian sits on the toilet across from Dan. It's warm in the bathroom, and Dan watches as Brian tugs off his face mask, letting it hang limply in his hand. Brian so often dons the mask that honestly Dan sometimes forgets what he looks like without it - thick and unruly salt and pepper hair, fierce eyes, a strong jaw...and, below that, the red and jagged scar spread across his throat. Dan lingers on the scar for just a moment, wanting to remember the responsibility that he feels every time that he sees its raised, deep edges.

When he looks back up, Brian's gaze is fixed on him, a frown on his face.

"Wouldn't you agree?" Dan asks.

Brian shrugs, then nods.

_It makes sense. You said it yourself that emotions can get you killed._

Dan nods, sighing and running a hand through his short mop of hair. "For a long time, I didn't feel anything, my body cold and devoid of anything but acknowledgement of the task in front of me. Something...something happened, though. I'm different somehow. I can't place it, but I can _feel_ it. Do you understand?"

Brian is quiet as he watches Dan. He looks like he's trying to see the wheels turning in Dan's head.

"I was distracted today out there. I let my enemy's words get to me and I almost died because of it."

Brian raises his hands in what seems like the beginning of a defense.

"No, Brian, it's true. I know it. There's something building inside of me that longs to be set free. I'm sure that it will be. Either I let it out or it kills me to escape."

_Dan... I’m not sure what you're trying to tell me._

Dan knows that it's scary, even unsettling, to see the person who taught you how to live now seemingly saying that he doesn't understand how it all works, but Dan had to tell someone, had to voice his concerns, and could think of no one but Brian to share all of this with. It isn't fair to Brian to reveal the deepest edges of the idea implanted in his mind, though, the part that truly knows what he must do. It's too much a burden to ask the other man to shoulder.

Dan keeps it inside. He swallows it down.

"I'll be okay," Dan says with a wave of his hand. "I guess that being in a finger grasp of death has a way of making you think."

Brian nods, but he doesn't seem convinced.

\--

That night, as Dan lies in bed, he lets the idea fill him up, renew him with vigor, a sense of purpose that was once held by his ninja duties. In the quiet darkness of his room, Dan decides, he _knows_ , that he can't stay here at the compound any longer. He's got to go.

He knows little of life outside of the compound, but that's the draw, that's what he's after. The clouds inside of him have broken open, spilling a cool rain along his chest, his heart, making him long for adventure, for experiences, for things that he's never known. Just thinking of putting his plan into action has Dan's body tingling in a way that it never has before. It feels like new life has filled him up, new spirit.

A good warrior, a good ninja, never hesitates, not for a second, and that's what leads Dan to jump out of bed, wounded arm and all, and hastily gather anything that means something to him. It's not much - a framed photo of his family from when he was a child, some books that Brian had given him, his silk kimonos (he refuses to take the black ninja garb with him; he's done with that) ... He packs it all into a small bag that he can carry on his back.

He leaves in the quiet of the night, fast and in the shadows, the way that he's always worked. He'll be long gone before anyone knows what really happened. He slips from his house, the only one that he's known for the last sixteen years, and creeps across the darkness of the compound. He feels more energetic than sad to be leaving the place that he calls home.

As Dan approaches the fence and the great, thick doors that protect them, he senses someone there, watching him. He wheels around, realizing too late that this new life means no weapons, his trusted blade still hanging on the wall in his house.

There, behind him, is no enemy. It's Brian, standing there in his full ninja garb, his piercing gaze on Dan.

"Brian," Dan says weakly, his heart falling to his feet. "What are you doing?"

_I should be asking you that._

"I'm..." Dan sighs. "I can't stay here, Brian. I need to go. I... I don't feel like a ninja anymore. I don't feel like I belong here. I don't feel _anything_ \- that's the problem."

He wasn't planning on confessing, but he feels too weak, too excited about his new life, now mere feet from the door, that he can't withhold it any longer. He hadn't wanted Brian to know, but Dan's never been very good at lying to him.

Brian squares his shoulders and, for the first time, a new possibility opens up for Dan. What if Brian tries to stop him? Or, worse, fight him?

Brian raises his hands and, instead of taking a shot at Dan, he begins signing.

_They'll be upset if you go._

Dan shrugs. "They'll find someone new to run their errands."

Brian's eyes widen, and Dan can see his face tighten.

_If you go, then you'll...you'll be marked a traitor._

Dan stops and nods solemnly. He knows this. He's known it all along. The second that he steps out the door, he'll have betrayed his clan, his lineage, everything that he was supposed to hold sacred. When he was a teenager, being branded disloyal was his worst fear, being kicked from the clan his biggest nightmare, but now, teetering at the edge of his decision, Dan feels nothing but right.

He _was_ Ninja Daniel, but no longer. He's free to be whoever he chooses now.

"I know, but I have to go. I can't go back. I can't be here anymore. I... I hope that you understand, Brian."

Brian looks frantic, edging on scared, and it's been so long since Dan's seen Brian scared that nerves twitch in his stomach. Dan doesn't dismiss them. He embraces them, lets them build until he's practically giddy with a nervous energy.

Brian nods once, but he doesn't look happy.

_They'll never stop trying to find you._

"I know."

_Trying to kill you._

"I know," Dan says again. He's thought it through. Even with the traitor label, even with having to watch his back, he's still going, his mind made up. "I can handle it."

_Without any weapons?_

Dan can just feel the smartass tone in his words.

"I still have my hands, don't I?"

Brian's chest rises and falls in an inaudible sigh.

"Brian," Dan says, "just go back. Go home. Pretend that you didn't see me."

Brian balks, his hands moving furiously.

_You expect me to just let you go?_

"Are you going to fight me?" Dan asks, his chest filling with dread.

Brian rolls his eyes.

_You're my best friend._

Dan feels his heart clench, the tug that he never let himself feel. Their bond, his friendship with Brian, just how strong it really is...it would have been hard to go without telling Brian goodbye, the thought of it had hung over Dan heavily.

"You're my best friend, too."

Brian's hands move swiftly. Dan recognizes the speed - Brian is either angry, hurt, or yelling.

_You were going to leave without telling me._

"Brian, don't do that. I wanted to keep you safe. I didn't want to burden you like this...like right now. As soon as I go, they'll ask if you knew. I wanted you to be able to tell them no with a clear conscious."

Brian frowns, but he nods like he understands Dan's reasons, even if he doesn't accept them.

_Well, they'll have to ask someone else because I'm coming with you._

Now it's Dan’s turn to be surprised. "What? Brian, _no_."

_This is my decision, the same as it is yours._

"You'll be a traitor, too. You worked hard. You deserve to be here."

Brian steps closer to Dan, filling the space between them. The cool night air shifts around them. Brian's hands move slowly, deliberately

_You taught me what I know. What has this place given me besides you?_

Dan can feel a heat warming his cheeks and a new emotion, some strong, fond feeling, spreading through him. The list of people who he's hugged in his life is short, but, right now, he wants to add Brian to that list.

"If...if you come with me, then I want you to know that I have no idea what I'm doing...but I'm excited to find out."

Brian nods.

_And I want you to know that I'm not giving up the ninja life. I'll just make it my duty to protect your ass from now on. God knows that you'll need it._

Dan huffs out a laugh. They both know that he's more skilled than Brian, at least right now, but he's lost the desire to fight. That part of him had dissolved with the rain that fills his insides. He'll leave that task to Brian now.

He can barely believe how real it is. He and Brian will be leaving together, starting a new life in the great unknown. It makes Dan feel better to have Brian there, even if he thinks that it's a mistake, that Brian might someday regret it.

"Well, then, my strong, silent friend, let's hit the road, shall we?" Dan asks.

Brian nods and, just like that, the two of them slip through the gate and into the darkened night, disappearing like shadows without hesitation, without looking back.

\--

It's a couple of weeks before he comes up with a new name, a new persona. It's on the spot, really, as he shakes hands with a lovely waitress at a seedy bar in some town that he can't remember the name of. The girl giggles at him, at the dumb jokes that he's making, as Brian rolls his eyes. Dan - no, _Danny_ \- grins, filled with something new and exciting, just like every other part of this fascinating world around them.

"Who are you guys?" the girl asks, sounding half-amused and half-enraptured.

Dan points at Brian, who gives a barely-there wave. He's been working on socializing - at least, Dan hopes that he's been working on socializing. "That's my buddy, Ninja Brian."

"Oh, a ninja? Are you dangerous?" she asks.

"He's the strong, silent type," Dan says, excusing Brian's lack of response and earning a laugh from the girl in the process. He can practically feel Brian rolling his eyes.

"And you?"

Like second nature, he spits it out.

"I'm Danny...Danny Sexbang."


End file.
